putting my foot down.

heyya peeps!
been quite sometime since my last update..
been bz..n just not in d mood..
so!
i have a row of new posts..and let me have u guys start with this one..
here me out.

if u happen to have a friend.
and somehow u knew that somethings not good has been going behind their back.
what would u do?
-keeping quiet, hold on into it.and let whatever happen to be..?
-or u tell em off directly?for their good sake.

well, i was in the situation.. we are in a circle of friends.her friends happen to be my friends.(atleast that was my thot).but how close the 'friendship' was..well let just say it base on individual interpretation.

i for one knew about 'the behind-scene stories' took pity.
but y?

i had been thru this like a zillion times. with my previous relationships. been hurt really badly..really really badly for all kind of reasons..cheated.betrayed.rejected.even humiliated...everything..name it.

my first thought was..putting myself in her shoes..i pon perempuan..so..i totally understand how it would probably feels like. despite of what happen in the past.
ive literally 'seen' how much love and effort she put for him. believe me..been there done that. loving with all our hearts, putting effort to make the relationship works..but at the end of the day. i was the one being hurt like crazy..not worth it..at all..
same goes here.i feel.. it really hurt being hurt. so i was totally kesian and oso marah for the situation as i tink she shouldnt have to face all this.

honestly. i wasnt having any intention or plan to tell her off. i knew it for quite somtime.but i stayed quiet. but somehow..i admit. i accidently blurt it out from my chest..not to her..but to a friend of ours..

i wasnt meant on any harm..even more harm..its not my intention of ruining any friendship. relationship and even making things from bad to worst. honestly. i dont.

but somehow it is. without my expectation. i admit im wrong for blurted out. but.
what i heard..is what i blurt.
believe or not to believe..its up to em.

all im saying is..even me myself..when kte buwat salah..somtimes..when people ask straight to our face..we just dont want to admit it..and that is that.

ive been putting alot of thinking..well actually deciding to even date someone...i really consider of what my 'friends' would say or think..but in this case...despite of the circle of friends..and my intention has been taken badly..so as the title says..
i put my foot down..and say it here:

ive turn to my 2nd thot..which is..'I couldnt care less anymore'
as i said befo...it really hurt being hurt..
but!
if u ONCE hurt someone REALLY bad..
then!
it suits u well!..REALLY well!!

what goes around..comes around..
what goes up!..must come down!
its karma.

i was been fired..from every corner..putting blame onto me..i said a zillion sorries..
but..now..i dont care whatever people want to think or say.about me..hate me..or calling me names..or whatsoever not..
coz i know myself..and only god knows my intention was..

i never involve in this coz it wasnt my bussiness..at least at first!....but now..my advice is..(as im in this kind of situation oso)..if u dont want..ur previous relationships to bother u or whatsoever..pay off any 'DEBTS' or anything..and get over with..trust me..it works..!..if ta na..well maybe he can let u be..but answer it later days..not to him...to Him...and honestly..its kinda funny coz obviously, insecure wasnt in my dictionary..regardless u are in it or not..coz i think u can see why..

as far as im concern..
my relationship with him is happy, fun and joy.
it helps when we get the blessing from the FAMILY.
his family welcome me with warm and opened arms. and so do mine.
we now have 2 mamas, 1 abah, 1 papa, 1 kakak, 1 abang, 2 lil brothers. and a lil sister..
we support each other,
we motivate each other,
we appreciate each other,
we BE with each other through thick n thin.
of coz there's up and down. gadoo..sape kate tak gado..
but we overcome them..its part and parcel of relationship right..
only that we discover our mistakes, weeknesses, and try what ever it takes to strenghten and make the relationship works well.

i dont know what lies for us ahead..
but everday i hope n pray to god..
that it would have a happy ending.
amin.

so der it is..
lega..
i dont want to talk or even mention about this ever.

and i dont care anything about others..
happy..im happy for em..
tapi kalaw nak tunggang tebalik ke..sukatila..
al im concern is..
-my family
-sha .mai..my 2 besties sampai mati..ta penah ade kawan macam dey both!...
-khairil azmi..
-azmi's family.
-and true friends..that i only know!

other than that..
friends. fulstop.

'bigg hugeee grin*